A Very Special Request

The abundance of social media sites and outlets could be responsible for the decrease in the number of those awful, forwarded-a-thousand-times e-mail jokes, chain letters, and challenges to prove your friendship, show your love for Jesus, etc. I received one in 2008 that made me grind my teeth. I could no longer hold my peace or keep my annoyance to myself, so I sent this e-mail to that person and everyone else I heard from regularly in my address book.

Let me preface this (because some of you may get your feelings hurt) by saying most of you I love, others not so much. This is not a joke, but remember what they say about people who can’t take one.

The straw that broke the camel’s back arrived in my e-mail inbox recently and I can’t be silent any longer. I have a very special request I would like to share. I’m just venting to some of you, and others of you know that this shoe fits.

Please keep your politics, your patriotism, and your religion to yourself. And I mean this in the kindest, most respectful way.

Don’t tell me to vote or remind me to vote. I believe it is condescending, a bit arrogant, and generally very annoying for anyone to do so. I am an intelligent person and I have figured out what is going on this November, specifically on the 4th.

Don’t tell me, or even suggest to me how I should vote. See the 2nd and 3rd sentences in the above paragraph.

Don’t send me another e-mail about anything that tells me to forward it or pass it on. You are not the boss of me. And I’m telling you now that I won’t do it. If you don’t want your chain-chain-chain of foolishness broken, then don’t send it to me.

Your e-mails about God and Jesus, with that “if you love Jesus/God you’ll forward this” threat? If you don’t know for sure what I believe, I will tell you this – I don’t believe the fellas are laid back sippin’ on gin and juice, making a list and checking their e-mail twice to see who wasn’t guilted or shamed by their so-called friends into forwarding their e-mail. See the previous paragraph.

A brief note about e-mail forwarding etiquette: please respect everyone’s privacy and delete all e-mail addresses when you forward. Or, you can cut and paste the message into a new e-mail. If I have to click on more than one forward, I’m not going to open it.

And before you forward another one of those BS urban legend e–mails about hearing babies cry outside your front door or smelling perfume being sold by a hustler in the parking lot, do your research. Check it out at www.snopes.com or www.truthorfiction.com or www.urbanlegends.about.com or www.hoaxbusters.com. Or just go to your favorite search engine, but stop going for the okey-doke.

What I would welcome and appreciate is a really funny joke (A priest, a rabbi, a minister, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “What is this, a joke?”) or a personal e-mail (with pics if you have them) written by you telling me what is going on in your life.

Please feel free to cut and paste any part of this if you feel the need to send a similar note to anyone. If you are offended or upset, so am I every time I read and delete those kinds of e-mails from you. Please think before you forward; be sure you know your audience; and don’t make me block your e-mail. Cause I’ll do it, damn it. I’ll do it.

Love ya like a play cousin,

I still get those e-mails once in a while. And I see similar kinds of messages on Facebook from some of those same people, although they are not as blatant and don’t come as frequently. Now, we have the never-ending invitations to play those ridiculous Facebook games. So, stop inviting me to play. Don’t make me unFriend you, cause I’ll do it, damn it. I’ll do it.

Love y’all like Play Cousins.

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